An individual can seem perfectly fine and ordinary when others are watching, while secretly harboring a deep, dark secret that no one would ever suspect—and in some cases, the secrets can be so wild and crazy that the chance to anonymously confess them online can be a huge weight off their shoulders. Here are some of the most shocking secrets that people online have ever confessed.
When I was a young kid, I once went around the backyard of my house and ate all of the wild mushrooms that had been growing there before running back up to my mom and yelling “Mom, mom! Jeff (my little brother’s name) just ate all the poison mushrooms in the backyard!”
I then showed her all the leftover stubs as proof. My brother was immediately rushed to the nearest Emergency Room, where he was given some sort of “coal milkshake” to absorb anything harmful in his stomach as well as some anti-poison stuff through an IV. I really sucked at pranks back then…
I had a sum total of exactly one pal ever come to stay at my house overnight. I woke up in the middle of the night for no particular reason and became intrigued with watching him sleep. He had kind of long hair, and it was all stretched out above his head in a cool looking way.
So, I did what any other red-blooded 11-year-old boy would do. I stuck toothpicks into it. After a few minutes of this, I pulled them all out, put them away, and went back to sleep. And that’s all there was to it. I still have no idea what in the world I was thinking…
I never went to college. In fact, I barely even spent any time at a community college before dropping out. Before working at the company where I do now, I had never had a job higher than third assistant manager for a retail store. I was unemployed and really starting to feel stressed out.
This was just before getting evicted from my apartment. So, one night, in a bout of depression, I made up a fake resume. I gave myself a bunch of awesome past jobs, gave myself a degree from a prestigious college, made up some impressive references, and basically created the perfect profile of an exceptional job candidate.
I then submitted it to what was a dream job for me at that time. Amazingly, I got an interview. At this point, I was thinking that it would be a great story to tell after bombing the interview. But I didn’t. It went perfectly. I could have done that interview 1,000 different times and it was still great.
I was simply on fire that day and they ended up offering me the job. So, I accepted. It was for a salary that was almost 3 times the amount that I had ever earned in my life. I figured at this point that I should give it a try. After all, what was the worst that could happen?
I thought that maybe I could get a week or two of paychecks before they caught on and fired me. But that didn’t happen. I’ve been promoted 4 times since then. After having started off making around $60,000 a year (almost $40,000 a year more than I had ever made before), I now make over six figures a year.
In elementary school, some kid walked up to me one day, put his arm around my shoulder, and asked: “Hey man, how was your trip?” I told him that I hadn’t had any recent trips. He said, “I can fix that, I’ve got a trip for you!” He then tripped me, causing me to fall on the ground.
I was extremely mad at first, but, after a few minutes, I thought it was hilarious and clever. After calming myself down, I ran up to some smaller kid with glasses. I put my arm around him, threw him on the ground, and yelled “HEY, I HOPE YOU ENJOY YOUR TRIP. DID YOU HAVE A TRIP?” I was so embarrassed.
Every time I think of that story, I feel bad. I just wanted to make a funny joke, but I screwed it up, got embarrassed, and fled the scene without helping him. This little kid is probably about 25 or 30 years old by now, and I sure hope that he has contact lenses by now.
I once took a poop in the bathtub. In a panic, I reacted by flinging the poop into a discreet hole in the wall. A few months later, my parents renovated the house and patched up that hole. Therefore, there is now a 15-year-old turd sitting in between the bathroom and kitchen wall.
Words cannot even begin to describe the level of social awkwardness that I used to exhibit back when I was a senior in high school. One time, a rude jock guy in my grade joked during study hall that this equally awkward freshman guy should go with me to the upcoming Homecoming dance.
I had been planning to just go stag with a friend, as neither of us had attracted the attention of many guys. I was mortified, as you would probably expect in a case of a mean jock picking on chubby senior girl and a nerdy freshman boy. As a result, I didn’t commit to going as his date.
I got called to the administration office, as the Assistant Dean had received a phone call. They were concerned about this senior girl allegedly planning on taking their kid to Homecoming. I told them, “Relax, it was just a joke that [insert idiot jock’s name here] made, but I already have other plans.”
And that was the end of that. Later, I found out the heartbreaking truth about the kid. It turned out that the real reason that this kid’s parents had been concerned was that their son was ill and they didn’t know how much longer he would be in school. His sophomore year he was too ill to attend classes.
When I was a kid, I once stole a big balloon that said “HAPPY BIRTHDAY” on it from a party store. It wasn’t blown up, and probably cost less than 98¢. I took it home and blew it up. I felt guilty about it the entire time. It just sat in the corner of my room until it deflated.
These are some crazy stories! Do you have a similar secret that you've never shared? If you're brave enough, leave it below or leave us a comment on what you think about these instances! Stay tuned for more cool articles!